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a minute of manners and musings
my week so far
November 3, 2010Posted by on
To be completely honest, this downward spiral started on Sunday night. That’s the night I thought the kids were to trick-or-treat, but it was Saturday night. I heard Ben on the front walk yelling in his best circus ring master voice, "All you trick-or-treateeeerrrrs, come and get your candeh!" I’d never heard that routine before, so his level of effort made me run to the internet to confirm my horrible and awful sneaking suspicion.
Monday lapped me up about 7:15 am and spit me out about 10:30 last night. And, it hurt. Like a fool, I started painting the front entrance hall…love the new color, but it’s taking a while to get it finished. Let’s just say that on that day, I had to figure out how to caulk. I had to be extra careful with my fingernails…who wants an etiquette book signed by a lady with cracked and caulky fingernails?? I scheduled a manicure for Saturday to be on the safe side…signing will happen on Monday night. I’m trying not to consider how I will bide my time when no one wants this *%!$ book. I’ll think about that tomorrow. Had Darrell’s parents for dinner that night but not before I had to be really ugly – to the point of my exhaustion – to Ben about a bad grade, go pick up Em from school..twice..take her back to eye doc for contact installation followup (where I was planning to wait in the car, but "he wants to talk to you"..dirty hair, no makeup and jeans from 1987 whose waistband grazed my 3rd from the bottom rib…all day). When we finally did make it back home…T minus 87 minutes until guest arrival and nothing prepared..I found an email from Ben’s teacher about the aforementioned grade. Isn’t she prompt? Darrell breezed in from work, encouraged, said all the right things which included nothing about my appearance (smart man), and fixed me exactly 2 cocktails..the last .5 had to be quickly discarded since my Baptist parents-in-law arrived 15 minutes early. During dinner, Darrell blurted to his mother that I used boxed potatoes (I prefer ‘frappe’), but "aren’t they good?"…that recipe always earns compliments but Darrell has GOT to keep his mouth shut! Halfway through the frappe, Ben tossed a pumpkin over his head where it hit the countertop and flung his water glass onto the kitchen floor where it…you guessed it…shattered. Granddaddy has a heart condition, I had to remind that little boy. When they started to leave, Darrell’s mom said, "Well, Kate, that sure was entertaining." I can’t be certain, but I think she was being snide…maybe that was just relief that she didn’t have to stay any longer. Conclusion finally came after a frantic call to Visaprint customer service over the table top poster I’d ordered for the book signing. One corrupt file restoration and a $30 rush fee later, I fell into bed thinking, "Seriously?"
Then came Tuesday. That turned out to be the day for caulking…which I had never done before. I was right to be concerned for my fingernails. Since I didn’t know what I was doing, I bought the tube of caulk that is supposed to go in one of those gun things – not the squeeze like the toothpaste kind. After about 10 minutes of trying to squeeze the tube that is not meant to be squeezed by human hands and cursing at the manufacturer for making a bottom that won’t stay put (it’s supposed to move around for you caulking virgins), I said…out loud this time…"I need one of those gun things”. Thirty minutes later, Darrell came home for lunch and said, “You need one of those caulk guns. I have them at my store.” Deep breath. I guess that’s what I get for listening to him only about 35% of the time he speaks. The rest of the day had to do with finding a new and prominent wrinkle, panty lines discovered late in the day and Halloween candy wrappers stuck to the back of my pants.
But then, we do have lots of Halloween candy left over. Stands to reason since we missed the whole #%! thing. And, no, I do not know how or why the font changed halfway through this post.
I’m heading into Wednesday. Wish me luck.